Recently, however, we actually read a book together. And I think it changed my life. Not the reading. The book. It was Anything by Jennie Allen. We read about what life might be like if we completely surrendered everything to God, and allowed Him to do absolutely anything with our lives. Not just in the "mission" or "service" areas of our lives. All the mundane tidbits too. Not just our "spiritual journey," but all of our dreams and goals and plans. The ones that may take a lifetime to achieve, all the way down to the To Do lists that we make every day. All of it. What would happen if we told God we would do ANYTHING? Truly, I'm not trying to do a book review here, but I would recommend the book--if you are wanting God to be more real in your life; and even if you're not.
But the next morning, I opened my prayer time with, "Okay, Lord, what do You have for me today? Where do You want me to go first?" And I had a thought. An impression. Matthew 4. I should start with Matthew 4. "Okay, Lord, I'm ready. Let's go!"
Whoa. Umm, you know that verse in Hebrews where it says the Bible is "a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart?" Yeah, think about that for a minute. The Bible is a book. Remember, I love to read. I've never had any other book that was anthropomorphic. But this says the Bible can discern! It also says the Bible is living.... Truly, I could go into a whole other study right now about the Bible itself, but I'll save that for another day. I bring up this verse in Hebrews because after God led me to Matthew 4 that first morning after I prayed Anything, I felt truly like this Book was indeed delving into my inner being.
"For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." ~Hebrews 4:12
In Matthew 4, Satan tempts Jesus. Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil-those are the Bible's words. I believe it was so that He would be tempted-and OVERCOME.
Jesus has gone 40 days without eating. This strikes a chord with me because I love to eat. Because of this study, I am feeling led to seek more understanding about fasting, but that will be another day too. Back to Jesus; He's hungry. And the devil zeros in on His weakness and attempts to outwit Him. Isn't that just like the devil to hone in on our weaknesses? But God uses those weaknesses too. To get our attention. To turn us around. To take our attention off of us and redirect it toward Him. When the Israelites were traveling in the desert, they got hungry. They were so focused on their hunger that they forgot all about the amazing ways in which God had taken care of them thus far on their journey. He didn't automatically provide food. Or water. Each time, the people had to stop focusing on themselves and ask Him for help. I believe God allowed them to experience need in order to lead them to trust Him. They needed some humility. Then He provided the manna.
Jeremiah 15:16 says, "Your words were found, and I ate them. And Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart; For I am called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts."
Ezekiel 2:8 says, "But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Do not be rebellious like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you."
As I sat pondering on Jesus in the wilderness, hungry, Satan taunting Him, I was amazed at His humility. The King of Kings answered Satan's provocation calmly and truthfully, without touting His own power or getting defensive. He did not need to prove Himself to anyone, least of all Satan. He is Truth. He was doing this as an example to us.
Yet, how often do I respond to others in a totally self-focused way? I have tasted that the Lord is gracious, as the verse in 1 Peter mentioned. All those other things should be laid aside. Joy and rejoicing should be there instead. "Eat what I give you," Ezekiel says.
Today I am convicted of my pride. My "I know a lot and am further along in my spiritual journey and don't do any those 'horrible' sins" pride. And because of that pride, complacency-laziness really. My maintenance morning devotions are not deep enough- they are not where God wants and needs to take me to equip me for my Anything.
So no more deceiving myself. (Because I know I'm not deceiving God.) And no more defending myself. I'm hungry. I think I'll go eat some humble pie.